Reviewing Old El Paso Ramen, Maestro Massimo Wafer Cubetti, and More

I have thoughts. These are not fully kettle; instead, they feel like a mix between a kettle chip and a regular thin chip. They’re crunchy, but not quite as much as a regular kettle chip nor as thick. It basically feels like a premium thin chip.

Coming from someone who dips everything in honey mustard, it’s pretty good but could be better. It’s not as punchy or bold as honey mustard dip; it’s definitely toned down and meant to be more inoffensive. Like, the flavor is there; just don’t expect anything too crazy or punchy.

I’m unsure of an exact release date, although I first spotted them in early May 2025 in Whole Foods.

Where’s the Korean-style flavor? These are just moderately spicy Doritos with a light, indincernble seasonings–perhaps some hints of garlic, salt, and others? But it’s nothing like Korean flavors whatsoever. Really, it’s kind of just plain spicy Doritos. One thing I do notice is that the corn-like flavor of the Doritos is toned down, overshadowed by the spiciness, which is a plus in my opinion because I’m not the biggest fan of that flavor profile. The red spiciness coating also generously coats your fingers.

Released March 31, 2025, for a limited time and exclusive to Walmart.

Are these supposed to compete with Birthday Cake Oreos? Because to me, these taste better than even them! These are less artificial and fake, and there’s no bitterness either. It’s a smooth, pretty sweet, and creamy vanilla birthday taste that leans more towards its vanilla side. The cookie part itself is plain and lightly crunchy, and notably, its plainness helps keep the sweet creamy center in check.

Also, these are double stuffed, and I feel this is about the perfect ratio, as any more, it’s either going to be overpowered by the sweet cream or too plain because of the cookie. Oreo, take notes; this is how you do a birthday cake cookie!

Released around mid-April 2025 for a limited time and exclusive to Walmart.

Okay, I like the texture, but the flavor? It’s alright. It’s not at all honey flavored, though; instead, it’s semi-sweet milk chocolate with a slightly sweeter, thick caramel and lightly crunchy pecan center. None of it tastes too artificial or fake. Overall, really, it tastes like a lot of their other products except much less sweet.

Back to the texture–it’s thick, slightly chewy, and dense, making it pleasant to bite through. I appreciate the little crunches from the tiny pecans embedded throughout as well. Overall, thinking about the flavors and texture, I just prefer their other candies because of my huge sweet tooth.

Likely released around early March 2025. Found at Stop & Shop.

For cup noodles, these are pretty darn tasty and feel premium, especially compared to other cheapo brands. I’m not even the biggest fan of these types of noodles and soups, yet I still found myself thinking this was actually pretty decent.

As far as the flavor goes, it’s sort of like a fajita but with a much spicier kick. The seasonings are there, and although it’s not quite as nuanced as a fajita, it still makes par for the course. My ultimate gripe is the spiciness, as fajitas tend to not be this close in terms of spicy punchiness. Other than that, the noodles are okay, and there are a few mini additions like vegetables and other add-ins—that’s really it.

Released in April 2025 alongside a Birria flavor. Found on the Walmart website.

Valentina & Lime: This ain’t my thing, and I’m a big spicy guy, too. Simply put, there are hot sauces I dislike: cheap, plain peppery ones–for example, Frank’s RedHot. This tastes almost exactly like that with a hint of lime. It has a sharp pepper taste that is off-putting and feels like it’s being punchy hot just because. There’s little nuance and seasoning; it feels like straight-up plain pepper combined with another type of harsh pepper, as well as… vinegar, perhaps? Or some other odd, not complementary flavor. Either way, these just aren’t good and are a big letdown for spicy lovers.

Wavy Korean-Style Fried Chicken: A slight kick and sweetness, and some interesting seasoning to say the least. It’s a mix of artificial butter with Korean-like seasoning. Overall, it’s the best of the bunch, but what brings it down the most is that artificial butter taste. I’ve had good butter-based tasting chips, and basically, these simply don’t compare. To improve this, I’d perhaps throw in some meat flavors to complement it all.

Bacon Grilled Cheese: Kind of like a grilled cheese with bacon. Kind of. It’s artificial, especially the bacon flavor. And I mean that–like, it’s extremely noticable–it’s as if they had bacon-flavored drops and added a few to the seasoning concoction of the chips. It’s not terrible, but man, it’s a bit distracting. The cheese is also artificial-like, although not as much. It’s lighter and feels like it’s supposed to resemble a cheddar flavor. Overall, not bad, but unfortunately, not as authentic as I’d like it to be.

Released early to mid-April 2025. Found at Walmart.

Notably, for both of these, I expected so much more. They have advertised bold, unique flavors, but unfortunately, they barely deliver an ounce of them! I’ve had plenty of other mochi with stronger, tastier flavors.

Sea Salt Lemon: For a lemon, the taste is super light. It’s lightly sweet with a tickle of lemon, as if it sort of resembles a lemonade with way too much water. Still, it’s pleasant, unoffending, but really, it’s kind of boring. Texture-wise, they’re very soft and easy to bite through, and the filling and shell more or less share that soft, uniform texture.

Tiramisu Dark Chocolate: Like the lemon, this is equally dulled down. There is a very light coffee taste paired with a background of chocolate. Interestingly, some of the fillings inside have tiny nubs of slightly thicker (but still very soft) globs that are a minor addition to the texture. Additionally, like its lemon brother, it’s soft, easy to bite through, and the texture is uniform throughout.

I’m unsure of an exact release date. Found at Ocean State Job Lot.

These only come with 8 small- to medium-sized cookies. The cookies are solid, soft, and not really chewy like others.

First off, 70% cake batter? Well, at least not in the form of its consistency. It’s just a regular, soft-ish cookie, nothing more. The frosting drizzle on top doesn’t add much either. They’re fairly basic texture-wise, and overall, I expected more.

In terms of flavor, it does in fact resemble red velvet cake batter. You can taste the red velvet and the nuances that come with cake batter: sweetness, butteriness, and richness. The flavor is pretty good, and it’s interesting to pair it with a cookie that isn’t exactly cake-batter textured as advertised–which is confusing–the flavor is cake batter, but the texture isn’t.

If they can just improve the mouthfeel of the cookie, perhaps by making it more chewy and moist, it would be so, so much better!

The company has been around since 1999; not sure when they released this. Found at Ocean State Job Lot.

Wow, these are perhaps the best quality and tastiest wafers I’ve had! Compared to others, these feel absolutely premium. The triple filling is thick, soft, a little moist, and extraordinarily creamy, as if the cream literally melts in your mouth instantly–I’m not kidding, I genuinely can’t get over how rich these are!

It’s also much, much sweeter than other wafers, with a bold, extra creamy yogurt and non-punchy, sweet raspberry taste–this is important because, in my opinion, if the raspberry were too punchy, it could be simply too much. Complemented by the lightly crunchy wafer, this is how wafers should taste and feel!

While I’m unsure of an exact release date, dates point to around 2023. Found at Ocean State Job Lot.