This is a ranking and review of Robert Irvine’s FITCRUNCH Loaded Cookie protein bars. Notably, Irivine’s company has several different protein-based bar lines, including the original Protein Baked Bars, Wafers, and Delights.
In April 2023, they released their Peanut Butter Blast and Loaded Chocolate Deluxe. Mint Madness came out in mid-July 2024. I found Peanut Butter Blast and Loaded Chocolate Deluxe at 7-Eleven, and the Mint Madness as part of their variety Protein Baked Bar pack.
You can find my review of their regular Protein Baked Bars here.
Review & Verdict
High calories for a low amount of protein and a small size is what I immediately noticed. In fact, aside from the minimal amount of protein, some candy bars might actually be lighter!
Macros aside, first, these are not like candy bars. They’re worse.
The texture of these is on the dryer side, with almost each having some level of artificial annoyingness that often plagues protein bars while being even worse–these are some of the most artificial bars I’ve had! However, what I really want to emphasize is the composition here. They’re definitely loaded-looking, but those generous amount of mixins don’t do much because they either fall off or resemble the same texture as the bar itself. The end result is protein bars with a disappointing, unexpectedly uniform mouthfeel–which is dry and crumbly–not my thing!
If someone asked if I would recommend these, I would say absolutely not. Their eating experience is simply unenjoyable due to the bad, crumbly mouthfeel and fake protein taste. And of course, those macros need to be addressed promptly!
Flavor Ranking
1. Mint Madness
It felt like I was eating a dense, semi-moist, and especially annoying crumbly brownie. The dense texture reminds me of a Little Debbie brownie, but especially more crumbly. Weirdly, it felt moist throughout, yet unfortunately, after I bit into it, it started to break apart as if acting like some overly dry cookie or pastry. Really, it’s so annoying to eat! That aside, the chips don’t add too much as they’re pretty soft already, and many flew off as I bit in anyway…
In terms of flavor, it has a mildly sweet, minty taste from the large helping of embedded green chips with a dark, non-bitter chocolate base. Kind of like a minty chocolate patty candy, but not nearly as strong or pronounced. And no, don’t worry, there isn’t really a toothpaste flavor or much artificialness present here, it’s quite an authentic, tame minty tasting that leans towards its more dark chocolate side. Still, overall, those who do like mint will almost certainly find the flavors enjoyable nonetheless.
2. Chocolate Deluxe
Thick layers of chocolate drizzle, a few M&M-looking pieces on top, and an artificial chocolate protein flavor are what you get with this. The flavor itself is dark chocolate and somewhere between mildly to moderately sweet–it’s reasonable on the sweetness scale. Looking at the taste, again, it’s a darker chocolate that’s unfortunately held back by not only its protein taste, but its composition. It feels drier than it should be and even has some crumbliness to it because of it. Even the embedded bits feel uninteresting as they’re too soft and plain to really notice. And despite having cookie in its name, I didn’t get any cookie flavor or texture either.
In summary: a dark chocolate artificial, drier tasting protein bar.
3. Peanut Butter Blast
This has thick drizzle of dark chocolate with pretty large peanut-looking candies embedded throughout–cool looking, for sure!
Unfortunately, the texture of the bar feels a bit dry and tastes quite like artificial dough. It’s weird–like a dough with an essence of peanut. The embedded pieces don’t add anything either, as they feel flavorless and aren’t really at all crunchy. Really, the entire bar is soft, dry, and just feels like this weird artificial dough. The sweetness is moderate with no real distinct flavor; it’s mostly an artificial sugar with some weird artificial dough-like peanut cookie flavoring–yeah, a weird combination. Also to note: The center has soft chocolate chips, but as I said previously, they don’t add anything, and frankly, the artificial, weird taste of the bar is likely overpowering whatever they’re attempting to contribute.