I rank and review the famous TikTok viral Prime Bites protein bars and go through all of their available and seasonal flavors, noting any historical context! This review and tier list covers all of the Prime Bites flavors I could find. Feel free to disagree!
Started in 2021, the first addition of Prime Bites was introduced with a variety of flavors. Since then, flavors such as Red Velvet, Pumpkin Spice, and S’mores were introduced in April 2025.
You can find my previous (albeit very short) review of these here.
What do these have in common?
There are a lot of commonalities as well as subtle differences.
First, they’re all the same size, and secondly, roughly around the same texture, which does vary slightly depending on the flavor. Overall, they’re large brownies, being thick, moist, and lightly chewy. If you’re expecting something thinner, you won’t find them here; in fact, these are the thickest brownies I’ve ever had, protein-based or not!
Notably, most have some type of artificial, bitter, almost sour background taste–again, depending on the flavor. Some have it more than others, while a few have nearly none at all. This seems to stem from whatever sweetener they use. Lastly, the thin icing on top is stiff and smooth, which is nice as it provides a hint of contrast with the softer brownie portion, though it doesn’t add much in terms of flavor because its ratio to brownie is too drastic–these brownies are massive in comparison!
1. Birthday Cake
The sweetest of the bunch and one of the most genuinely flavored. It’s like they put that artificial, sweet, birthday cake frosting you find on cheap cakes at the grocery store into a brownie. Is it quite as punchy? Not necessarily, but it’s strong enough and accurate to be well appreciated. And if I had to nitpick, it doesn’t perfectly match its sugar-based frosting counterpart; there is an artificial light sweetener-like taste instead of full-on “normal” sugar–honestly, though, it’s ignorable; when was the last time you had birthday cake and didn’t get any artificial flavors?
In terms of its composition, it has little bits of colorful pieces that don’t add anything aside from looks. Also, it’s just a tad stiffer than some other brownies on this list, but it still retains the same dense and soft form.
But really, what stands out is that this is the sweetest on this list and tastes like you made a birthday cake frosting using mostly a sweetener and not a “real” sugar. Definitely tasty and a near replica of what it portrays. This is for you if you especially if you want something sweet and representative of authentic birthday cake flavors.
2. Red Velvet
I immediately noticed a few large, bright white chocolate chunks in this bright red cake, though, as I bit in, I noticed the entire mouthfeel is uniform, so they unfortunately didn’t contribute much in that department. Notably, compared to many other brownies on this list, it’s noticeably softer, kind of like a thick pound cake crossed between their brownies.
As advertised, the flavor is a red velvet-ish taste and doesn’t taste as artificial or bitter as many others on this list. It falls around moderately sweet, perhaps a bit sweeter than the average in this ranking. I also especially appreciate how not so artificial it is, though there is still some sweetener-like taste in the background.
This is a good rendition of red velvet in a more healthy, protein brownie form–I approve!
3. Peanut Butter Candy Crunch
As a Reese’s lover, this honestly gives me Reese’s vibes. It’s sweeter than many on this list, with a candy peanut taste and embedded soft candy-like pieces that contrast with its thick brownie texture. Interestingly, I also found it’s slightly more cakey than, say, some of the chocolate-based brownies on this list for reference. Overall, it’s not super sweet, and it’s a candy like a peanut all the way through. If it had chocolate, I could almost see someone thinking this was a Reese’s… Almost. Not as sweet as one, but a protein rendition of it.
4. Chocolate Cookie Monster
This is very close to the Glazed Chocolate Donut flavor but better in the flavor aspect; it’s less dark and tastes more chocolately and sweet, while also being a little less artificial tasting. Unfortunately, I’m not sure where the supposed “cookie” part is supposed to fit in, as this resembles a thick, moist brownie with no embedded pieces–reminds me of a Cosmic Brownie in a sense.
Essentially, if you want the most brownie-like Prime Bite, this should be your choice. It’s chocolately, reasonably sweet, and the mouthfeel is enjoyably thick and moist.
5. Cookie Dough
The cookie dough flavor is close, but doesn’t land it precisely–In a sense, I do feel like I’m nitpicking. Compared to its candy counterpart, you definitely can taste the resemblance, as if they were cousins. It even matches some of its artificialness, for better or worse–of course, though, this has more of a distinct sweetener taste instead of a “cheap sugary cookie dough for a dollar on the shelf” one. Unfortunately, overall, it’s not as sweet, though it still packs enough sugar sweetener to be enjoyable enough. Overall, it has a cookie-dough flavor and a light background of darker chocolate from the few embedded chocolate chips.
Compositionally, it’s almost your standard Prime Bite but a tiny bit more cakey while still retaining a thick, moist, brownie-like texture. If anything, I wish the embedded chips were more noticeable in terms of mouthfeel because, as they are, they have the exact same texture as the surrounding protein dough.
6. S’mores
This is the moistest brownie on this list; in fact, it looks and feels a bit wet, giving a more thick, spongey-like texture. The flavor itself appears to be a light mix of buttery graham and regular chocolate with a noticeably artificial, lingering aftertaste, as if they put a little too much sweetener in this (which is odd, because it’s not that sweet). You can get through it, though, and I found myself still being able to get an almost-s’mores vibe… almost.
What sets this back is that it’s missing one of its main components: marshmallow, which is completely absent. That would provide some additional needed sugary and creamy goodness–and as it is now, it’s not technically a s’more flavor as it’s missing that part.
7. Banana Nut
I immediately noticed that the composition and mouthfeel of this vary a little compared to many others on this list. It’s still thick and moist, but it also feels like they were aiming for those cheap muffins you find in grocery stores or gas stations–not the dry ones, the thicker ones. It actually does a good job in this department and reminds me of the muffin tops of these exact gas station muffins. They even have noticeable embedded nutty pieces, which are super soft and aid in the mouthfeel!
For the most part, it is an authentically banana nut muffin in a brownie form, both in terms of smell and taste (mostly). If anything, it’s a little less sweet and still has the Prime Bites sweetener artificial taste, though it’s minimal. I think most will find this tasty if they’re into banana nut muffins.
8. Pumpkin Spice
The entire thing is mildly sweet with a spicy pumpkin spice taste. I’m surprised how accurate the nuance in flavors is–you get some nutmeg, cinnamon, and of course, pumpkin. But let’s be clear–regarding that pumpkin spice hit often found in other treats–it is toned down here, making it more enjoyable overall, in my opinion. Lastly, frankly, it’s also as artificial as some of the cheaper pumpkin-based flavored pies you find in stores, so if you’re used to those already, you may think these are quite authentic in a sense.
Overall, it could be sweeter and smoother. Maybe I’m just not the biggest pumpkin spice fan, especially when it leans towards a more bitter side. It could have also used some embedded pumpkin pieces to break up its uniform texture. Regardless, for whatever reason, it’s unique and enjoyable, including its composition, which is about the average brownie on this list: A thick, moist, brownie-like cake.
9. Cookies & Cream Blonde
Same texture as a thick, moist, and dense blonde, differing slightly from others on this list. It seems like they tried to get a regular blonde and scale it up and make it larger. The overall eating experience, specifically the mouthfeel and when you chew through, is great and is clearly reminiscent, though not exactly, of a blondie.
Unfortunately, I get an artificial, bitter vanilla from the taste. This is accompanied by an essence of a dark chocolate cookie flavor that doesn’t land as strongly as it should. At the very least, the embedded chocolate chips are a nice, small addition, but again, the chocolate part here is too dim. Further (and I’m picking on a lot here), it could use more of a smoother, creamier taste because, as it is, it’s more so on the bitter side. Basically, an artificial vanilla, mild to moderately sweet vanilla blonde with an essence of chocolate cookie; good, but not great.
10. Cinnamon Roll
I feel like this wants to be a cinnamon roll, but it isn’t quite there. It’s just not as creamy and flavorful, instead giving more of a vibe of one. It’s decently sweet and has an artificial cinnamon taste, which does throw it off. Frankly, to really elevate this flavor, it needs more of that traditional creamy frosting flavor and, well, less fakeness. It at least has a mildly sweet buttery-dough taste and a tinge of vanilla-like flavoring alongside its cinnamon, which does remind you of a cinnamon roll. Lastly, in terms of mouthfeel, it’s your average Primte Bite: reasonably dense and thick, as well as uniform in texture throughout.
11. Blueberry Cobbler
Definitely the most smooth-textured one here, and gives me vibes of “we quickly pumped this out of a machine.” It’s completely uniform, soft, and a cross between a dense cake and a muffin with a slight crumble compared to the others on this list. It’s just, well, that its mouthfeel feels fake and unappealing; it’s too uniform and smooth.
The flavor is a mildly sweet, artificial blueberry, so it’s definitely not a true berry blueberry–it’s clear it’s more of a “bueberry flavor” if that makes sense. In a way, it kind of reminds me of those cheap blueberry muffins at the gas station, but not quite as sweet, nuanced, or authentic-feeling.
12. Glazed Chocolate Donut
Reminds me of those thick, dense, moist brownies you find in stores, kind of like Cosmic Brownies, but this is much larger and a smidge less dense and less compressed. Still, it’s chunky and sports a darker, mildly sweet dark chocolate. The bad part? The dark chocolate, coupled with its artificialness. It just makes it a lot less enjoyable than it ought to be because of the bitter aftertaste–it’s definitely the most fake-tasting on this list.
Overall, this is a lot like a thick dark chocolate brownie; however, it is missing any sort of mention of a creamy glaze flavor to complement, while also kicking you with a bitter aftertaste of chocolate and sweetener. I know this sounds bad, but it’s still decent enough–I’d personally just go for its better counterpart flavor, Chocolate Cookie Monster.